Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".