i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
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I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics