I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming