I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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