is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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