if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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