At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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