I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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