i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
