i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
