I hate your face
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
