did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
