omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
