We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
