if you like me you must not know who I am
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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