I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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