Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
