living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
