YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
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Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
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Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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