He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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