I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
