ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
