matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I enjoy the company of your penis
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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