the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
