it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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