Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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