i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize