Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
