He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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