It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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