Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
