hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
