Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
