kristin has been a bad kristin
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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