is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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