I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
