Got a toothbrush?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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