Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
