Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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