Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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