i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm like, not good at living.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
