roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
