You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
