Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
