I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
