Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I bet he comes in French.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
