I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
