We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
