You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize