Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
