But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.