how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football