did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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