I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
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Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy