I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
