oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
