My room smells like vodka and shame
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
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You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
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I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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