U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
